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Humor                                                               Page 52

 

Leadership Lite

 

Your Bibs and Boxers  
Who would have thought that there’d be a market for humor about school superintendents?

A San Mateo, Calif.-based company apparently does. The firm, CafePress, offers these products sure to bring a hoot to anyone fortunate to receive one as a gift:

“Proud to be a Superintendent” coffee mugs;

“Real Men Become Superintendents” baby bibs;

“Trust Me, I’m a Superintendent” boxer shorts; and
T-shirts that proclaim,

“Off-Duty Superintendent,” “World’s Coolest Superintendent” and “Happy Snow Day.”

Call Anytime 
An interim school superintendent, speaking at a citywide PTA luncheon, assured members that he was always happy to hear from them about problems. He told them, “You can call me day or night, at this number . . .”

Suddenly, a cry arose from someone sitting in the audience. It was the district’s assistant superintendent.

“Hey,” he exclaimed, “that’s my number.”

The Ever-Present Doctor 
The mother of a 1st grader contacted Dwain Baldridge, superintendent of the Rome Community Consolidated School District 2 in Dix. Ill., whose 300 students are housed in a single building along with district administrators. She wanted Baldridge to know he ought to be prepared to expand his job responsibilities.

During a bedtime recap of his day at school, the little boy told his mom about a kid who had gotten a minor injury on the playground. Apparently the nurse was not at school that day. “My son said to me, ‘Well, I don’t know why he cared if the nurse wasn’t at school because I don’t think the nurse has to come unless Dr. Baldridge can’t be there, and he’s always there.’

“So if my son asks you for medical advice in the hallway someday, it’s because he finds it silly to ask the nurse when the school has a perfectly good full-time doctor.”

Wisdom of the Young 
The exact origin is unclear, but Keith Shoulders, superintendent in Carlisle County, Ky. (until he retired this summer), could not resist sharing the precocious words of 6-year-olds. On his superintendent blog, Shoulders told of a 1st-grade teacher somewhere who assigned each of his 26 students the opening half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the pithy saying.

Here are a baker’s dozen of the best lines of the bunch:

Strike while the … bug is close.
It’s always darkest before … daylight saving time.
Don’t bite the hand that … looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a … Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog new … math.
Love all, trust … me.
A penny saved is … not much.
There are none so blind as … Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not … spanked or grounded.
You get out of something only what you … see in the picture on the box.
An idle mind is … the best way to relax.
A bird in the hand … is going to poop on you.
Better late than … pregnant.

 

Short, humorous anecdotes, quips, quotations and malapropisms for this column relating to school district administration should be addressed to:
Editor, School Administrator
1615 Duke St.
Alexandria, VA 22314
Fax: 703-841-1543
E-mail:
magazine@aasa.org.

Upon request, names may be withheld in print.

 

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