What Schools Get Wrong About Engagement

Let’s get honest about something we don’t say out loud enough: Most of what we call "student engagement" in schools isn’t actually engagement at all.

It’s compliance: neat tables, quiet voices, eyes on the speaker. A well-behaved classroom is easy to admire—and easier to manage—but it doesn’t always mean learning is happening.

I should know. I was a compliant student. I followed directions, raised my hand, and rarely got into trouble. I loved knowing exactly what my teachers wanted. But in hindsight, I wasn’t always engaged. I loved it when the rules were clear-cut, the expectations were clearly stated, and I knew exactly how to succeed. But true learning? That often happened elsewhere.

For the rest of my life, I have always been an engaged learner. It was modeled for me. My mom, a voracious reader, would start conversations at the dinner table with, "So, I was reading this article today..." much to the groans of everyone else. (For the record, this is how we wound up with no sugar cereals in our house.)

Why the Confusion?

Compliance is a safe way to do school successfully. That may be why student compliance is often confused with engagement

I believe many of us educators were compliant in school. Compliance is a safe way to do school successfully. That may be why student compliance is often confused with engagement. And while we might not like it, I haven’t found many places that have truly changed this dynamic.

Yet, there’s a balance. There are times in life when doing what you need to do—even if it doesn’t light you up—is necessary. Jobs, expectations, and accountability exist in the real world. My own Gen Z children seem to be confused by this! We can’t always be engaged because we LOVE what we’re doing. That’s just not life.

Still, what if more of school could feel engaging, exciting—even meaningful—for our students and staff?

Mixed Messages in Our Schools

One thing we think about a lot in my district is how often we send mixed messages to students:

• We expect "Level 0" voices at certain times, yet grade participation on report cards.

• We seek creativity and innovation, but we also show polished exemplars that blur the line between modeling and mimicry.

• We ask for collaboration, but sometimes scold kids for lively conversations in the cafeteria or even at recess.

What do we actually want?

If we want debate, we need to allow more debate-like behavior. If we want creativity, we need to tolerate some mediocre first attempts and coach students through them. If we want participation, we can’t be the only ones deciding when students get to participate actively.

Teaching vs. Learning?

Learning requires productive struggle.

I once worked with a professor who said, "If students aren’t struggling, we aren’t teaching. We’re just giving information." That resonated. Because learning requires productive struggle. But do we reward that?

Do we model what productive struggle looks and sounds like, or do we only celebrate the moment when the struggle pays off?

Many teachers feel they’ve been successful if most of their students "get it" on the first try. But what if our evaluation processes looked instead at the level of productive struggle our students engaged in? What if that struggle was supported, coached, and encouraged?

Can we help students lean into discomfort? Raise their hands even when unsure? Try something new, even if it feels awkward? One of my favorite tagline quotes from The Cult of Pedagogy podcast sums it up best: Be the first dork.

It’s Not About the Furniture

Back in middle school, I mostly sat in table groups. But my favorite class had us in rows, all facing the front, focused on our teacher sitting on a stool. It was 8th-grade ELA. That class was hard to be compliant in—because we were too busy being engaged.

That teacher made us fall in love with Les Misérables. We debated, we questioned, we got deep into the themes—and then we saw the show live in Chicago. Her class wasn’t about regurgitating her thoughts. It was about listening to her questions, engaging with each other, and interacting with the text in meaningful ways.

Engagement isn’t a trend. It’s a shift in mindset.

Now that I think about it, maybe it was easier to participate when we weren’t looking at each other’s faces. Just like it’s easier to talk with my own teenagers when we’re next to each other in the car.

The point? Tables aren’t a sign of progressive teaching, and rows aren’t a sign of disengagement. Use your head. Know your students. Use the tools that work.

Start Here

Want to move from compliance to commitment? Try this:

• Ask students what engages them.

• Allow space for messy first tries.

• Celebrate effort and persistence.

• Model your own learning process.

• Let go of one classroom "control habit" this week and see what happens.

Final Thought

Engagement isn’t a trend. It’s a shift in mindset. It’s messy, loud, and sometimes complicated to measure. But it’s worth it.

Because quiet classrooms might make us feel like we’re in control. But engaged classrooms? They make us feel alive.